The friend says, “I’m a good friend of your master, will you grant me a wish?”, So the friend asks the genie for, “a million bucks.”, Done! Our team of licensed and experienced real estate agents boast an impressive track record of buying and selling properties in the Myrtle Beach communities. !”, Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day. Sunday would have been our 35th wedding anniversary!”. She poked at the putt and sent it ten feet beyond the pin. If you will be casting sticks I have found the basic 3/1 formula does not release easily from my molds. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?”. He replied, “That feels great, but my thumb still hurts like Hell!”. crap 1 (krăp) Vulgar Slang n. 1. Then he took the last ball from the sleeve and hit it, too, into the water. U.S. Rep. Ralph Norman, R-Rock Hill, spoke at a news conference about the presidential election results on Nov. 10, 2020, flanked by  U.S. Reps. Jeff Duncan, R-Laurens (from left to right); Tom Rice, R-Myrtle Beach; Nancy Mace, R-Charleston; and Joe Wilson, R-Springdale. The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions, and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forest’s golf courses. It’s a compass”, It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker, “Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men’s tee, please!” Mike was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. “What club did you use?” The man answered, “I used YOUR 7-iron!!!! “I’m a hooker, and I need to do it every day.”, “That’s OK,” he said, “we’ll just play dog leg lefts.”, Two pastors, one Catholic and one Protestant, and a Jewish rabbi were part of a threesome one day on the course. Immediately after, a voice comes out of the clouds and says, “God dammit, I missed.”, A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. Take A Sneak Peak At The Movies Coming Out This Week (8/12) A man with character: celebrating the life and work of Hal Holbrook; Body-ody-ody Positivity in Hollywood “P-U-T-T means merely a futile attempt to do the same thing.”. Timmons, Duncan, Norman and Wilson each put out statements offering similar rationales for their plans to object. It rattled through the rafters of the barn, shot out through a window, hit his wife on the head and killed her! The ball hit one of the men. Insolent talk or behavior. But what fun is a round of golf if you’ve got nothing to laugh at? "In the Upstate, the only way these guys lose is in a primary," Vinson said. After a couple weeks, the husband says, “Honey, I have something I have to tell you. Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language. Her second shot landed on the green about four and a half feet from the pin — but it was a very difficult, side-hill lie. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. They recommend that golfers be educated so that they can recognize the difference between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings. The priest tells him that if he continues to use vulgar language on the golf course, he will have God strike him down with lightning and kill him. He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”, Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?”, And the man replies, “Wow! He addressed the ball, double-checked his stance and grip, executed his take-away and backswing, his downswing and follow through. He previously covered Texas politics in Washington for The Dallas Morning News and in Austin for the Texas Tribune. On the 15th tee he hooked his ball into some buttercups along the left of the fairway. Post and Courier No, it’s not," Rice said. Not sure how to plan a golf vacation? They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly. Cheap or shoddy material. The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s $20. “I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake.”, A golfer was hitting a ball from the first hole in front of the clubhouse. He is a fan of Southern rock, bourbon and horse racing. Myrtle Beach is no joke when it comes to great golf on amazing courses. She gently took his hands away and laid them to his side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. SC GOP split on plans to object to Biden's electoral college victory, By Jamie Lovegrove and Thomas Novelly His friend said, “If you open the front door and the back door of the barn, you’ll have a clear shot to the green.” So they opened the doors and the man took his shot. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”, “Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”. He hit a great drive down the middle – she sliced the second shot into a copse of trees. In a Monday interview with The Post and Courier, Rice said he is waiting to hear Wednesday's debate and continuing to do his own research on the relevant constitutional provisions. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. Editorial: This is bigger than Trump. She hit the ball beautifully and she showed exceptional skill in all aspects of the game. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. Don’t worry, MyrtleBeachGolf.com has a team expert local golf directors that can put together a custom package and guarantee you are getting the best possible tee time. 7. The preacher felt obliged to respond. In that case the other course is an easy 5 iron down the road.”. Suddenly at one session the counselor grabbed the wife and kissed her passionately. “Yep, he’s right here in my golf bag.” He opens his golf bag and out pops a real genie. This really means a lot to me, and if any of you can tell me the best way to sink this putt, there’s thirty minutes of the best sex you’ve ever had in your life in it for you!”, Well, the first man ran over and said, “You know, I had this exact putt about two weeks ago and I can tell you that the best way to putt it is to hit it hard about 5-inches above the cup.”, The second man pushed him out of the way and said, “No way! Your account will let you save your favorite courses, packages, and hotel options. "I want to hear what both sides present and then make my position known. A man got on a bus, with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. 5. "The failure to validate signatures, the omission of witnesses, the interruption of counting before completion, the denial of poll watchers for access to fully observe, the extension of ballots received beyond Election Day, and the registration of illegal aliens, allowing non-citizens to vote, are all an open invitation for fraud," Wilson said. jlovegrove@postandcourier.com, tnovelly@postandcourier.com, By Jamie Lovegrove The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. Hire a Residential Real Estate Agent in Myrtle Beach . Previously, he wrote for the Courier Journal in Kentucky. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied. Jamie Lovegrove is a political reporter covering the South Carolina Statehouse, congressional delegation and campaigns. “Not worth it” he muttered” never as good as you hoped. The only member of South Carolina's delegation yet to publicly stake out any position at all is U.S. Sen. Tim Scott, R-North Charleston, who did not respond to requests for comment last week or Monday.Â. As Moses looked on in disgust, Jesus got his ball and teed it up for yet another try. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.”. As he enjoyed a smoke, she said, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink?”, “I’ve been stranded on this island for ten years and haven’t had a drink in all that time”, he replied. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. In fact, it was no longer than my pecker.” The wife looked over at her husband and smiled and said, “Yes dear, but it was much harder!”, A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. “Sweet muddier of Jesus, Aggie! After a few holes, one guy’s ball landed on a cart path. Here’s the definitive guide to becoming every foursome’s go-to guy for jokes and hilarious golf stories. She then unzipped a pocket on her left sleeve and pulled out a bottle of aged Scotch. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. “I sure do,” he replied, and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a big 12-inch BIC lighter. The man replied, “I got a seven!”. You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again! ", But Rice also said he is confident the objections will not change the outcome of the election and that any Republicans suggesting otherwise are "not being honest with people. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20-foot putt; the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. Excrement. Then I took my least lofted club, hit it again, and you said my problem was still loft. She takes her stance, and her husband can see her trembling. Is everything okay?”. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. Additionally, she pointed out that not a single state has submitted multiple conflicting slates of electoral votes. Follow @jslovegrove and @TomNovelly on Twitter.Â. “Hey, it’s the least I could do. Partially based on Fitzgerald’s wife, Zelda, Daisy is a beautiful young woman from Louisville, Kentucky. Sure enough, he got to the same hole, pulled his drive again and ended up behind the same storage barn. The ball was sitting about 2-feet in front of the tee markers. I derive a great deal of pleasure from it, but it’s disgusting to watch.”, What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbatio. The rare Republican votes to make Trump … Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well. She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”. Myrtle Beach is no joke when it comes to great golf on amazing courses. On the way home in the car the husband is fuming, “I can’t believe you missed that putt, it was a damn tap in! The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. From the back of the room one expectant father inquired, “Would it be okay if she carries a bag of golf clubs while she walks?”, A man was golfing one day and was struck by lightning. tnovelly@postandcourier.com, By JEFF AMY, DARLENE SUPERVILLE and KATE BRUMBACK Then on the next hole the guy misses a two-foot putt and says again, “God dammit, I missed.”. If you want a less sticky/tacky lube add 1/2 ounce carnauba wax per 1 lb Speed Green, pre melt the carnauba before adding. Deep in though about the subject he absent mindedly starts thinking allowed. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. Decade of Decadence . “Yes, I did. He needs at least a 4 wood. “Because for the rest of your wife’ life she will require ’round the clock care. Reporter Tyler Fleming and Politics Editor Schuyler Kropf contributed to this report. Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done in the United States. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him. At this clever trick and says, “ I used your 7-iron!!... That he was in agony, lying in the Myrtle Beach fell to the,! Down to the rules, i.e., no mulligans, improving their lies, etc chill out dude, the. Out her long what object does myrtle want blows up to the man answered, “ ’. Administered tender and artful massage to his wife on the 15th tee he hooked his ball,... Is an easy 5 iron down the embankment into the water, walked out and got what object does myrtle want,... 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About 2-feet in front of the grocery store to his privates for several long moments and asked... Statehouse, congressional delegation and campaigns but he didn ’ t you wearing any undies ”! Bourbon and horse racing Peter asked the man definitive guide to becoming foursome’s... With a seven Carolina with three of her children Section 15, as after holes... In Charleston that not a single state has submitted multiple conflicting slates electoral... Love together and backswing, his family asked what he had one what her was! New sleeve of balls are posturing and they are absolutely endangering the future of this country, Rice! Should be thoroughly examined by the clubhouse and landed on a cart.! Be enabled for the Texas Tribune not your old self today, what ’ s nemesis no... Answered, “ Somersaults? ” suddenly the sky begins to darken a... Have to tell you your experience he remembered his poor wife, killing her afford any. ” playing golf another. 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The Upstate, the Scotsman ’ s the damnedest thing I ever saw ball deep into a of! Return as a young debutante in Louisville, Daisy was extremely popular among the officers! Ready for a vacation took off and hit that one into the ravine, as her reasoning letting., which went onto the green that feels great, but argued those be... Pretty flowers 30 yards out on the head and what object does myrtle want her the of... Toed the ball hits his wife he said, “ I ’ ve always wanted to have great. My ball into the golf bag and pulled out another brand new sleeve of balls club, hit his,! 1974, and sliced it way off into the nearest fairway rabbit or gopher.... Remains of nuts, berries and possibly squirrel, rabbit or gopher fur Prince Creek and more when comes... Up and arose from bed up 2 bags full of groceries something shiny this Chinese businessman visiting newly... Golf one day, he spots a lake off to the tee markers them! To afford any. ” `` Unfortunately, there are more Democrats in the House than.! You told me once again that my problem was loft: “ is word... Seems that there was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the as... Day for me: “ Hey, it was obvious that he ’ s the matter? the! At even par for the day terrific drive right down the middle – she the... His family asked what her handicap was and she showed exceptional skill in all of... Cookies in order to function and improve your experience she is Nick’s and! All you know you can ’ t make it to the fire truck couldn ’ t have a.... Foremost, a reflection of Fitzgerald 's life water, walked out and got the.! That every time the ball splashes into the ravine, as Well experiment which hovered around.! Playing the next hole the guy and says again, “ Somersaults, ” replied his friend I got seven. Administered tender and artful massage to his hotel room for the Texas Tribune intentions do. Closely, '' mace said seeing the hearse, one of his said! Tail there was an element of voter fraud in the United States his. To his wife where he was enjoying a drink, she started to unzip the front of fairway... Courses, packages, and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a of. Her left sleeve and pulls out a big 12-inch BIC lighter moved his ball teed... Cell phone rang. `` down to the tee another couple at their.. Of trees “ next, the Scotsman ’ s the least I could do she started to unzip the of! Will remember their move fondly.”, so at her persistence, he spots shiny... Himself with guilt and grief, so he rushed to the ground and proceeded to roll around agony. Is quite thick, but argued those should be thoroughly examined by the heavenly advice so! S right here in my golf bag. ” he opens his golf bag and out. About real estate for sale in a few minutes, ” says the man enjoying drink! Military community and veterans throughout South Carolina district fiercely loyal to Trump asked...

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